She remembers the day so clearly now, though it was a memory she had to fight particularly hard for; one her mind did not want her to have back. The reasons for this are evident, however, when one considers exactly how central to Revan's current existence that day was.
And she can recall it completely now. She remembers standing on the bridge of her own ship, clad in full black, lightsaber in her hand, watching three Jedi approach. Two of them were nobodies, merely accomplices in a mission that they deserved to die for. But the third… ah, the third had potential. As they fought, Revan could feel the fire deep within the heart of that Jedi… Bastila. She knew that, with proper instruction, the young woman could go a long way as a Sith.
The euphoria of that battle hangs at the edge of memory. At the time, she had expected it to be a day she remembered as glorious, a day she fought off a cowardly Jedi ambush and proved to them just how helpless they were against her power.
She was almost right. Almost. For Revan had failed to factor one thing into her calculations… Malak.
And the moment of his betrayal, the moment Revan's life was altered forever… that is a moment that hangs heavy in her mind.
Betrayal. It is something every Sith must face. Revan knows that. Revan knew that. But she never expected it to come from him… from the one person she felt she could trust.
Revan has always liked to think of herself as the sort who doesn't make mistakes. Yet her life is marked by the biggest mistake of all – believing that she could re-interpret what it is to be a Sith. Believing that it was possible for two Sith to be together.
Believing that that would change things.
All Sith know that, eventually, they will be cut down by someone superior. Every Sith desires to prevent this, of course – but also accepts that it will happen. That is the way things are. The strongest rule, and the weaker perish. The trick is to remain strongest.
Revan thought Malak could see beyond that… but then, not even she could. Despite her belief that he would value their bond above becoming Dark Lord of the Sith, she still wanted, above all else, to be the strongest.
And in the end, it was the wedge that drove them apart. In the end, it led him to search for his opportunity. In the end, it led him to stand on the bridge of his own ship, and give the order to fire on the ship of his Master and lover, to watch as vivid red coursed through space and impacted on the ship's hull.
He timed his attack so well. Just as Revan was squaring up to attack Bastila again, the laser fire hit. The bridge exploded, and Revan felt darkness seep in like never before.
She wasn't afraid to die. But every fibre of her being wanted to die in battle… not like this. If she was to be betrayed, it was to be properly, as a true Sith should.
Her greatest betrayal was not his decision to leave her, but his decision to do it from afar, to not look her in the eyes and tell her why.
He never told her why. And that hurts more than anything.
Summary: Nothing hurts more than the moment he betrayed her.